#### *… not just what you think* ![[Pasted image 20241005073615.png]] *Photo by [Nik](https://unsplash.com/@helloimnik?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/)* #### *We increase emotional intelligence when we give "I feel" it's due.*  ## Why it matters: Saying how we feel opens the door to emotional intelligence. But we close that door when we express judgments or opinions as feelings. _"I feel this traffic will make me late."_ What? Don't you mean **you think** you'll be late? ## Try this instead: **Pause and feel what you're feeling.** Follow "I feel" with an emotion or sensation word. "I feel cold." "I feel angry." "I feel sad." "I'm afraid." _"I'm afraid of what they'll think of me if I'm late."_ Now add **"because,"** and what you're needing right now. "I'm **_afraid of what they'll think_** of me if I'm late **_because I need_** to be seen as reliable and competent." ## Bottom line: This language gives feelings their due. Naming and labeling our feelings and our needs creates awareness. And awareness is the first step to emotional intelligence. #personalgrowth #emotions