### You Are Not The Hero There's a short story about a singing contest by the Russian writer Ivan Turgenev. It's set in a 19th century rustic village. The narrator describes the first singer's dazzling technique and how amazed the audience it. Someone remarks how he's the obvious winner after he's done. Then someone suggests the other guy may as well give a go: he's there after all. The second singer begins with a quivering voice - a bit timid and quiet. Then, slowly, the narrator's attention drifts from this second singer to the listeners. To their facial expressions and emotions. They are touched and moved. The focus has shifted from the singer himself to the affect he's having on the audience. This reminds me of a story relayed by David Brooks about Jennie Jerome who would become Winston Churchill's mother. She described a dinner party with the British statesmen William Gladstone - how he seemed to the most interesting man in the world. And another party where she met Gladstone's rival, Benjamin Disraeli. This encounter was the opposite - Disraeli made her feel she was the most interesting person in the world. It's great to be dazzlingly brilliant, we might say virtuosic. But that can be shallow and unsatisfying. It can also be self-absorbed and people can feel it. Ever watch a movie that leaves you feeling the director is saying, "look at me!"? Everyone is the hero in our own life. The problem is when we act like we're the hero in everyone else's life. The more we're like Yoda or Ronald Weasly instead of Luke Skywalker or Harry Potter - or William Gladstone, the more we build up others. Ultimately, this leads to greater happiness and satisfaction for ourselves. So much of our education system - and culture at large - trains us to perform. We're graded and assess constantly. Eventually, we come to believe it's our job to bedazzle everyone around us. This is even more so in sports and performing arts. We're applauded and encouraged. And that's all fine. It then just takes a new intention to connect and create a shared experience. Where the audience is transformed and embrace their best selves. Remember what Maya Angelou once said, *"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."* #### References: [How to Know a Person by David Brooks](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/652822/how-to-know-a-person-by-david-brooks/) [The Singers by Ivan Turgenev](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/8744/8744-h/8744-h.htm#chap17)